Why i quit [most] social media

TLDR: It jumped the shark.

Just the other day I had to explain what “jumped the shark” meant to a Gen Z’er. I told her that Happy Days was a popular television show in the 1970s until it ran for so long that it got stale. The writers of the show then staged a figurative and literal stunt. They had resident cool guy “Fonzie” jump a shark with his motorcycle, while wearing his leather jacket.

I’m not kidding. Here’s the video.

It was awful. It was so out of character for the beloved sitcom that it basically ended the series run. It lost authenticity. Then it lost its audience.

That’s how I feel about social media now.

After years of posting, scrolling, and hustling for engagement to build up my business brand, I finally did something I never thought I would: I quit.

Here’s why…and here’s what I’m doing instead.

1. i wanted control of my own content

A few months ago, all of my Facebook content disappeared. My personal page…my Shop Stylaphile Vintage page…and my VINTAGE fashion magazine page. An automated email said I’d violated some kind of policy (I hadn’t) and that I could appeal (I did). Another automated email gave me instructions on how to get back in using my “WhatsApp” login. I don’t use WhatsApp. I’d never even had a WhatsApp account. Plus, I no longer had Facebook Messenger because I’d gotten so much spam that I just deleted the app.

Eventually I was able to get back into my account, but by the time that happened, I was so over it that I considered Facebook the new MySpace. The shark was jumped.

Something similar happened with Instagram. I’d been paying monthly for the “verified blue checkmark ” because it gave me instant access to real human beings in chat support, and that was important for my business. Instagram was linked to my vintage store catalog so I could “tag” items from the shop in my postings with a direct link to purchase. One day, all of my tags disappeared. I contacted support and the person eventually fixed it, but couldn’t tell me why it happened. She did tell me I would need to go back and re-tag every single post. It just wasn’t worth the time and effort anymore, so I canceled my monthly verified account subscription and stopped creating photos and reels on Instagram.

What both of these frustrating experiences taught me is that all of the content I’d spent so much time creating and posting on these platforms was owned by them, not me. All postings, photos, reels, comments, memories…all of it could disappear at any minute. And there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

2. The Algorithm IS CONSTANTLY CHANGING

I’ve got two complaints about the algorithm. One, I was no longer seeing relevant content from my friends and family on social media. It was all “suggested” content and ads supposedly curated “for me” that were definitely not me. And two, nobody was seeing my content either.

I realize that all social media platforms make money by keeping people engaged. But it seems the algorithms are changing on a daily (or even hourly) basis. What worked yesterday doesn’t work today, and probably won’t work tomorrow. Post often! Post less! Post photos! No, stories! Now it’s reels! Nope, now it’s carousels! Create a broadcast channel!

It. Was. EXHAUSTING!

Creating content for social media platforms was becoming my full time job instead of a marketing tool to drive traffic to my store. I was spending more time doing that than shopping for vintage pieces, uploading new inventory, or working on the magazine.

The fact is, most platforms these days are filled with annoying ads, spam accounts, AI-generated content, and click-bait. They are so overly-saturated that it’s just too hard to get any traction. The only real way to beat the algorithm is to pay for advertising, which is probably why they keep changing it.

3. IT’S a SHIT SHOW

It started on Twitter. I stopped “tweeting” a long time ago. I really only used it for breaking news…things like local reports on NYC traffic and train delays, as well as national updates on politics and natural disasters.

Then came the trolls. And they ruined everything. I’d be checking to see what’s going on with a hurricane or wildfire and I’d see the most vile responses to people posting about their suffering. Comments like, “God is punishing the wicked! You people deserved it!” You know, for being gay, trans, feminist, an immigrant, or anything that doesn’t fit into their tiny little ‘Murica box.

The religious trolls (mostly men) are the worst, with their all-caps-pro-life-proclamations about how “WOMEN SHOULD MAKE THEIR CHOICE BEFORE HAVING SEX” and then get mad when you clap back that every single unwanted pregnancy “STARTS WITH A DICK!” Now Twitter’s nothing but a circular firing squad of theo-bros arguing with each other about whose interpretation of scripture is correct while behaving anything other than “Christ-like.”

After the trolls come the incels. They took it to a whole new level, threatening to rape and murder female Twitter users simply for having an opinion, daring to voice that opinion, and basically just for existing in general while not giving them the craved attention they feel is their birthright.

For a while there was moderation and safety protocols on most social media channels. Like, I could report the daily dick pics I received from rando-weirdos and a content moderator at the platform would at least take some kind of action.

In 2022, Elon Musk fired Twitter’s content moderators. And I deleted my Twitter account.

4. I can’t keep up with all the platforms

Remember when MySpace was the OG? Then came LinkedIn. Facebook. YouTube. Twitter. WhatsApp. Pinterest. Instagram. Snapchat. TikTok. Threads. Substack. infinity.

There will always be another platform. But I’m tired of being a creator-cog on the social media hamster wheel. With the exception of YouTube (don’t worry…I have the originals of all my videos), Pinterest (because trend boards!) and the occasional Instagram Story...I’m done.

Here’s what I’m doing instead...

I’m going old school. I’m going back to blogging.

I’ll still create content about vintage fashion and my love of New York. I’ll still post photos of outfits and the fur babies and the manfriend. But I’ll do it all right here on my own website – where I own and control all of the content. (And back it up a regular basis!)

The right audience will find me. It will be much smaller than I had on the socials. But it will have higher quality and more engaged subscribers. Instead of a rock concert in a giant stadium, it’ll be more like happy hour in a favorite pub.

Instead of a Substack…I’ll have a Sydstack.

I’ll post my own beautiful photo gallery of curated [SQUARE!] fashion photos.

I’ll create my own timeline (currently in progress!) that will go back way before Facebook started and will feature vintage fashion photos and stories from decades past.

And – most importantly – I’ll still stay in touch with friends and family I’d re-connected with on social media. IRL. Because now I have their phone numbers and email addresses and they have mine. Again…old school.

I’ll be publishing regular blog posts along with a monthly newsletter. If you want to get notified about all the new content, you can sign up here.

Thanks for reading. I’m glad you’re here. And I hope you’ll stick around.

What are your thoughts on the state of social media?

*All comments go through an automated spam filter, so they might not post immediately.